The perfect man is gentle,
And never cruel or mean.
He has a perfect smile,
And is always neat and clean.
The Perfect Man likes children,
And will raise them by your side.
He ...
Jokes
The lifeguard told the mother to make her young son stop urinating in the pool.
"Everyone knows," the mother lectured him, "that from time to time, young children will urinate in a pool."
"Oh ...
This husband and wife are staying in a hotel, and after a romantic evening wining and dining they go off to bed. However, as soon as they settled down, the man (not quite ready for slumber) leans over ...
A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be ...
Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the ...
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
Another ...
A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher ...
Element Name: WOMAN
Symbol: WO
Atomic Weight: (don't even go there!)
Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Melts whenever treated ...
In each of these examples, the actual name of the college is written first. Then, after each, spoofs are written about each college name.
Auburn University.
Brown University.
Chrome Yellow ...
This test only has one question but it's a very important one.
By giving an honest answer you will discover where you stand morally.
The test features an unlikely, completely fictional ...
Nina and Rosey, two old friends are having coffee when Nina says, "I hear that you've been telling people that I'm ugly!"
"Oh, no! I've just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look ...
Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened. "So, how did you do son?" he asked.
"You'll ...
Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook."
A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations asked about the prices.
The doctor said, "Well, this Ph.D. brain costs $10,000. This brain belonged to a NASA top scientist and costs ...
A plane full of retirees headed for Florida was gripped with fear when the pilot announced, "Two of our engines are on fire we are flying through a heavy fog, and it has eliminated virtually all our ...
A man visiting a cemetery heard a second man who was kneeling at a nearby grave crying-out loudly, "Why did you have to die?!!? Why did you have to die?!!?".
The first man was so moved by the ...
One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
He asked one man, ...
What to do when your dinner is interrupted:
- Ask them if they've got beer
- Start speaking in tongues
- Tell them that person doesn't live there anymore. Give them the number ...
Police officer George and officer Mary had been assigned to walk the beat. They had only been out a short while when Mary said, "Damn, I was running late this morning after my workout and after I showered, ...
In 1996, a Californian judge ruled against James Pflugradt's estate and in favor of the deceased's former landlord. The judge allowed the landlord to keep Pflugradt's $825 security deposit because ...
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