A mountain woman went to the doctor and was told to go home and come
back in a couple of days with a specimen. When she got home she asks
her husband, "What is a specimen?"

He replies. "Hell if I know. Go next door and ask Edith. She's a nurse"

The woman goes next door and comes back in about twenty minutes with
her clothes all torn and with multiple cuts and bruises on her face
and body. "What in the world happened?" asked her husband.
"Damn if I know," she replies. "I asked Edith what a specimen was and
she told me to go piss in a bottle. I told her to go shit in her hat
and then all hell broke loose.