Now that I have a few years on me, here's what I have discovered:

* I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart
* I started out with nothing, still have most of it
* My wild oats have turned to prunes and All Bran
* Funny, I don't remember being absent minded
* All reports are in. Life is officially unfair
* If all is not lost, where is it?
* It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser
* Some days you're the dog, some days your the hydrant
* I wish the buck stopped here. I sure could use a few.....
* Kids in the back seat cause accidents accidents in the back seat cause kids
* It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere
* Only time the world beats a path to your door is when you are in the bathroom
* If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my knees
*When I am finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?
* It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere
* The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth