Why Hockey is Better than Sex

It's legal to earn money playing hockey
Many people play hockey even after they're married
The puck's always hard
The protective equipment is reusable
It lasts at least an hour
A two-on-one or a three-on-one is not uncommon
You always know how big the stick is
You can clean your stick in public without anyone minding
You can change players on the fly
You don't have to be embarrassed if you don't get the puck up
Everyone is finished when the buzzer sounds
Your parents cheer when you score
Periods last only 20 minutes
You're sure to get it at least twice a week
You can tell your friends about it afterwards