A man goes to his doctor's and says, "Doc, I've just been raped by an elephant!"

The stunned doctor replies, "What makes you say that?"

"Well," says the man holding his hands about a foot or so apart, "my asshole feels this big!"

"Bend over, and let me have a look," says the doctor.

The guy bends over and sure enough, his asshole is about ten inches across.

"But I thought that elephants only had a long, thin penis?" states the doctor.

"Yeah, I know," says the agitated man, "but it fingered me first!"