WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor lock)
(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)

WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)

WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING FOREPLAY?
(they don't have enough time)

WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)

WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)

WHY DON'T WOMEN HAVE MEN'S BRAINS?
(because they don't have penises to put them in)

WHAT DO ELECTRIC TRAINS AND BREASTS HAVE IN COMMON?
(they're intended for children, but men usually play with them)

WHY DO MEN MASTURBATE?
(it is sex with someone they love)

WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties)

WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

WHY IS A MAN'S PEE YELLOW AND HIS SPERM WHITE?
(so he can tell if he's coming or going)