DOS Beer: Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-oz can, but now comes in a 16-oz can. However, ...

The other day I was playing golf and saw an unusual thing.
A golfer became so mad that he threw his brand new set of
golf clubs into the lake.
A few minutes later he came back, waded ...

Top ten answers I always wanted to give to women but never have (and had to keep on dealing with an acute sense of repression of my true nature):
No, we can't be friends, I just want to use you ...

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners,
and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor
was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along
with informing the men ...