A guy enters confessional and says to the priest with guilt, "I had an affair...almost."
The priest says, "What do you mean "almost"?
The guy says, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed ...

This guy who works at a pickle factory comes home and hands his wife 50 dollars. She asked him what it was from and he told her that he won it in a bet -- the guys at the factory bet him 50 dollars ...

3 sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together they discussed gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.
The first said, "I built a big house for our mother." ...

A large, well established, lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack.
The very next day, a skinny little man showed up at the camp with his axe and knocked on the head ...